Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Am I losing the "bf" in bfmomma?

Contrary to what some unknown person asked me some ten + years ago, the "bf" in "bfmomma" does NOT stand for "big and fat" (although that is more true today than it was ten years ago!). I chose "bfmomma" as my screen identity when I was just getting into the internet and shortly after my first child was born. The "bf" stands for breastfeeding, and as a new, inexperienced mom, breastfeeding changed my life and taught me HOW to be a mother. It taught me that I didn't have to follow the baby books and measure when and how much to feed my child, as she'd know when she'd had enough and when she needed more. The natural progression was such that this oozed into the other areas of parenting. My baby slept better when she was lying next to me in bed than when she was alone in a cradle. My baby was happier in a sling, next to my body, than in a stroller where she couldn't even see me. My toddler had control of her own bladder and would be potty trained when SHE was ready--not when I was sick of changing diapers or when the books said she should be trained. And yes, my 9 year old was going to go to a week of sleep-away Girl Scout camp two summers ago because SHE was ready.

I have been breastfeeding or pregnant (or both) for one month shy of eleven years now. I cannot tell you how much I have changed as a person in that time. I used to be shy! I didn't used to share my opinions very often.

For about six months now, M. has been nursing only twice a day--first thing in the morning (her first words--even before her eyes open--are "kin' I ning you now?") and last thing at night, so she falls asleep with sweet, milky dreams. But now my last child (yep, she's the final one!) seems to be cutting back on even that. In the last week, she has skipped a nursing FOUR times. She skipped both last night's (I was gone) and this morning's (I was here). I have not tried to rush this, nor tried to prolong it, using La Leche League's "don't offer; don't refuse" means of weaning. As M. is such a blend of my other two children, I had always thought that she would wean when she was three (C. weaned at two; T. at four), but I didn't really believe it, either. I think I'd pictured myself nursing for the rest of my life. I still can't imagine it not being a part of my life.

And so I'll keep the "bfmomma"--for the mammaries ;)


Stefaneener said...

What a sweet picture.

And you ARE all about the bad jokes now, aren't you?

A said...

I was gonna say the same thing! The puns will never stop.

That picture is absolutely precious. Your kids have changed so much - sniff!

I am so dang weepy these days.

New Mama said...

Aw, what a sweet entry and what a great photo.

I don't think my husband is aware of this, but I intend to bf as long as Henry wants, too, and I'll be sad when it ends.

sewingsuzee said...

It's bittersweet...but if you're like me you'll still get letdowns for years to come, which helps some. :-)

Michelle A. said...

You could become a wet nurse! I'd hire you! ;-)